Do I Need to Hide My Body Insecurities from My Kids?

Honest guidance for parents navigating their own body image while raising kids to know body acceptance.

Have you ever caught yourself tugging at your clothes in the mirror, muttering something under your breath, or seeing a photo of yourself and saying ‘oh gosh, put that away’, or chatting with a friend about how thin you used to be…and then noticed a little pair of eyes watching you?

It’s a sinking feeling, isn’t it?

You want so badly to raise a child who feels at home in their body. Who doesn’t grow up picking themselves apart the way you once did (or maybe still do). And in that moment, all your intentions feel like they’re slipping through your fingers.

So you wonder: Should I be hiding this part of myself? Do I have to model confidence I don’t fully feel yet? Am I doing damage if my child sees me struggle with my own body image?

Firstly, if this is you, you are not alone. Most of us weren’t raised with body-positive role models. We inherited decades of diet talk, beauty ideals, and shame that runs deep. It's no wonder we’re still unpacking it.

The good news? Raising body confident kids doesn't require you to be perfectly healed. You don’t have to pretend you never have tough days. What your child needs isn’t a flawless parent, they need a real one. A parent who’s willing to show up with intention, even in the messiness.

There’s this unspoken pressure a lot of parents feel: If I want my child to have a healthy relationship with their body, then I have to model nothing but body love and confidence all the time.

But that’s not realistic.

Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, connection, and doing our best with what we’ve got. When it comes to body image, trying to hide every moment of insecurity can actually backfire. Kids are incredibly perceptive. They can sense when something doesn’t feel real.

What we often forget is that modelling isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being intentional. It’s okay to have tough moments. What matters is how you respond to those moments, and whether you're creating a home environment where compassion and curiosity are stronger than shame and criticism.

So if you’re thinking, “But I’m still figuring this out myself…” that’s not a disqualifier. That’s actually your strength. It means you’re aware. And awareness is the first step to breaking cycles.

You don’t need to have it all sorted to make a positive impact on your child’s body image. You just need to be willing to keep showing up, with care, curiosity, and a little self-compassion.

Let’s take the pressure off for a second. Your child doesn’t need a parent who’s never had a negative thought about their body. They don’t need you to love every inch of yourself every single day.

What they do need is a sense of emotional safety to be themselves, to explore who they are, and to know they’re valued far beyond how they look.

They need to know that:

• It’s okay to have a body that changes.

• It’s okay to feel uncomfortable sometimes.

• And most importantly, that worth isn’t something that hangs on the shape of their body, the number on a scale, or whether they fit someone else’s idea of “healthy” or “beautiful.”

  
  

What shapes a child’s body image more than anything is the environment they grow up in, and that includes the way we, as parents, talk about our own bodies. Even little comments, like “I feel gross today,” or “I need to be good after that dessert,” can quietly become part of the internal script they carry into adulthood.

You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be mindful. You can be honest about your hard moments without passing the burden onto them.

A simple shift like, “I’m having a hard body day, but I know my body’s still worthy of care,” can model both emotional honesty and resilience. You're showing them that it's okay to feel discomfort without turning it into shame.

It’s not about pretending the struggle doesn’t exist. It’s about showing them what it looks like to stay kind to yourself in the middle of it.

None of us are handed a script for how to talk about body image with our kids, especially when we’re still navigating it ourselves. But even small shifts in language can make a big difference in how our children learn to see their bodies.. and their worth.

Here are a few simple, practical ideas to guide your words on both the tough days and the everyday moments:

If you're having a tough day with your body image

Instead of saying:

·       “I feel so gross today.”

·       “I need to lose weight.”

·       “I look horrible in this.”

Try saying:

·       “I’m feeling a bit off in my body today, but I know bodies are allowed to change.”

·       “I’m having a hard day, so I’m being extra kind to myself.”

·       “This outfit doesn’t feel right today - I’ll try something more comfortable.”

These little rephrases don’t pretend everything’s perfect, but they model self-respect and flexibility. You’re letting your child see that it’s safe to feel things, and that we can treat ourselves kindly even when we’re uncomfortable.

If you're having a tough day with your eating

Instead of saying:

·       “I was so bad today, I had cake.”

·       “I shouldn’t be eating this.”

·       “You need to eat your veggies before dessert.”

Try saying:

·       “I really enjoyed that, it hit the spot.”

·       “This food gives me energy.”

·       “All foods have a place -let’s enjoy this together.”

Food talk doesn’t need to be perfect either. But ditching guilt and moral labels helps your child learn to trust their body and see food as fuel, pleasure, and connection.. not something to be controlled or earned.

And if your child says something negative about their own body

Instead of jumping in with:

·       “Don’t say that, you’re beautiful!”

·       “That’s silly, you’re not fat.”

Try responding with curiosity and compassion:

·       “What made you feel that way?”

·       “I’m really sorry you’re feeling that way -your body is good, no matter what.”

·       “It sounds like something you heard or saw made you question your body. Do you want to talk about it?”

This shows them their feelings are safe to share, while gently offering a new lens: one rooted in body respect rather than appearance praise. What you say doesn’t have to be perfect, it just needs to come from a place of kindness, and a commitment to unlearning together.

Here’s something not enough people say out loud: it’s okay if you’re healing while parenting. In fact, healing alongside your child can be one of the most powerful gifts you offer them. You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need to be the picture of perfect body love. What you can be is someone who’s willing to unlearn, relearn, and show up differently, even if that feels messy sometimes.

When your child sees you working through your own relationship with food and your body, with gentleness, honesty, and care, they learn that it’s normal to grow and change. They learn that it’s human to struggle, and that struggle doesn’t make you broken - it just means you’re learning.

You might say things like:

• “I used to think there were ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods, but I’m learning that all food gives our bodies something.”

• “When I was younger, people told me thinness was everything -but now I’m learning to value how my body helps me show up in life.”

• “Some days I feel off in my body, but I’m practicing being kinder to myself -and I want that for you too.”

  
  

These moments don’t have to be big or formal. They can be quiet, everyday comments that add up over time. They plant seeds. And by doing this work, even imperfectly, you’re already breaking generational cycles. You're creating a new legacy: one where your child doesn’t have to fight their body or earn their worth.

So be gentle with yourself. You're doing brave, meaningful work, not just for your kids, but for you, too.

You don’t need a total life overhaul to start supporting your child’s body image, and your own. Sometimes it’s the smallest shifts that lay the strongest foundation.

Here are a few simple, doable steps you can start with today:

Notice your self-talk

Ask yourself, “Would I want my child to say this about themselves?” If not, gently reframe.

Let them hear you speak kindly to yourself

Even if you’re faking it a little at first, say the thing out loud. “I’m proud of how strong my body is today.” It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being intentional.

Ditch guilt around food

Avoid calling foods “bad” or “naughty” -instead, talk about how food helps us feel, function, and connect. Enjoy it together.

Show compassion on tough body days

Instead of hiding when you're having a bad body day, name it in a way that models resilience. “I’m not feeling great about my body today, but I know it still deserves care.”

Celebrate bodies for what they do, not how they look

Focus on movement, energy, laughter, hugs, creativity. Help your child see their body as an instrument, not an ornament.

Keep doing your own healing work

Whether it’s books, therapy, coaching, or journaling - investing in yourself is investing in your child.

You don’t need to be a perfectly healed parent to raise a body confident child. You just need to be a compassionate one. One who’s willing to show up, to learn out loud, and to love themselves..even in progress.

You’re already doing the work by being here, asking these questions, and wanting to do things differently. That matters. And your child is lucky to have you leading the way.

Peace out,

Lyss

If this is an area that resonates with you and you'd like support, click the link at the top of the page to book in your free coaching call, or head to the bottom of the page to leave a message for me and I'll get back to you shortly. You can also click the link below to download a FREE guide - Boost Your Body Image: Four empowering ways to change your mind about your body.

Boost Your Body Image