Do you often find yourself reaching for that bag of chips, pastry, or tub of ice cream when you're attempting to distract yourself from certain emotions? Do you notice that you feel comfort in eating chocolate rather than addressing the reason for requiring that comfort? Does food help you 'zone out' when you're feeling a bit weary or overwhelmed?
If so, you're definitely not alone! Seeking emotional solace in snacks is so common, but it doesn't mean it's helpful for our health or our food relationship. I remember chocolate being at the very top of my emotional eating list, followed closely by ice cream and pastries. For many years I didn't understand the connection between eating and my emotions - I truly believed it was just because I liked the taste of those foods. I had successfully suppressed my anxiety and dissociated with food instead. My nervous system needed regulating and I didn't have the skills to regulate, all I had was the immediate comfort that came from delicious tasting food. But it never did its job in healing my emotional wounds - and so the cycle continued indefinitely.
Emotional eating is a physical response to an emotion - all kinds of emotions, not just ones we deem ‘bad’. There is no such thing as a negative emotion, yet so many of us have come to believe that some emotions like anger, anxiety, jealousy and bitterness are inappropriate or not worthy of expression. Just as emotions are neutral (neither good nor bad), emotional eating is neutral, and not something we can (or should) rid ourselves of. Part of what makes us human is the way our emotions are connected to everything we do in life, including our food decisions!
The problem however arises when food becomes our primary coping mechanism and our immediate 'go to' in emotionally challenging circumstances.
What if I told you that there's a way to break free from this emotional eating cycle? In my FREE ebook - 'The Emotional Eaters Repair Guide' I provide five strategies to help you move toward a balanced approach where we reduce the connection you have to food as a replacement for addressing your unmet emotional needs. In this post, I detail the first strategy - The Power of Pausing.
Between stimulus (emotion) and response (food) is the space for growth. That discomfort is where the magic happens.
The experience of hitting the brakes before resorting to the familiar coping mechanism, in this case, food, might seem like an uphill climb, but it's precisely within this challenging terrain that the seeds of transformation are sown. Think of it as a journey to your emotional core, where the roots of your actions are intertwined with your feelings. This journey doesn't come without its moments of resistance – a natural response from your brain, which has formed well-trodden neural pathways that lead directly to food as a comfort zone when things get rocky.
Yet, as you take the courageous step to remain seated amidst the discomfort, something truly extraordinary happens. You are granting your emotions a platform they've long awaited – a space to be acknowledged, to unfurl in their raw authenticity. Imagine this space as a nurturing haven, where your emotions are invited to speak their truth, to be recognized, and above all, to be validated.
When you sit in the company of these once-avoided emotions, it's like offering a patient ear to a friend in need – and in this case, that friend is a part of you that's been yearning for attention. This newfound companionship between you and your emotions allow you to be vulnerable and honest with yourself and begin to learn what is at the core of your desire for 'comfort food'.
By allowing these emotions to linger in your awareness, you're granting them permission to find their equilibrium in healthier ways. As you learn to soothe your emotional turbulence through mindfulness, meditation, or other avenues, you're forging new and supportive neural connections – connections that lead not to the pantry or fridge, but to emotional balance.
In a world that champions instant gratification, the art of embracing discomfort might appear as a counterintuitive notion. Yet, hidden within the unease is an invitation to rewrite your narrative, to foster a relationship with yourself that's rooted in compassion and understanding. So, as you tread the uncharted path of sitting with discomfort, know that you're engaging in an act of empowerment, gifting yourself the chance to heal, evolve, and ultimately thrive. So, how can you get started?
Here’s what you can practise when pausing before emotional eating:
Bring awareness to the situation with curiosity and without judgement.
Ask yourself:
What is it that my body needs? Is it food, or something else?
What emotion am I feeling?
What am I trying to soothe in this moment?
Can you sit with that emotion? Can you allow yourself to be uncomfortable with it? Because by allowing it to be heard and not supressed, you are learning to accept it as a valid emotion, and less likely to find a way to drown it out.
Remember, there's nothing wrong with wanting to eat food for comfort - as long as it's not your only tool in the toolkit. We are emotional beings because we are humans, so you should not have the goal to eliminate emotional eating from your life, but rather draw on helpful coping strategies for emotional support, whilst allowing food a place in that positive support.
If you would like to read about all five emotional repair strategies you can implement in your day-to-day life, click below for your FREE Emotional Eater's Repair Guide.
Peace out,
Alyssa.