I’m sure by now you’ve heard (unfortunately, it was hard to escape it), Kim Kardashian recently boasted to media at the Met Gala that she lost over 7kg in a three-week time frame to fit into one of Marilyn Monroe’s dresses. She stated later; ‘I didn’t starve myself, I was just strict.’
Firstly, I must say I deliberated whether to write this for two reasons.
1. I have no interest in discussing celebrity news.
2. I don’t enjoy criticising someone’s words or actions, especially when they don’t have an opportunity to contribute to the discussion.
I do however believe there is an important lesson from the situation that can benefit the body image journeys of our children, which we can begin to learn by asking;
How do we as parents respond to the media’s glamorisation of dieting and disordered eating to protect our child’s own food and body image relationships?
While her diet was extreme and not helpful for her body, she is not the only one, nor will she be the last one. She is just the one who happened to be famous (and honest, when everyone else knows better than to tell the world that they don’t easily look like that).
It was interesting to hear some of the backlash Kim K received from many others, including some prominent figures about promoting unhealthy dieting habits. Instantaneous and world-wide social media connection means that there is now the ability for others to have their say on ‘current affairs’ with platforms of often millions. It wasn’t too long ago that the only resulting dialogue from the words of celebrities was the media outlets themselves. As harmful as social media can be to young people, it does also allow for the far-reaching spread of positive and helpful health messaging.
What I haven’t heard yet from any source, is criticism of the media outlets who shared Kim Kardashians message with the world. Whichever outlets that were filming and recording her, had an important decision in this situation. And are any of us surprised by their choice? Whether she was praised for her diet, or criticised, the media will benefit, because it got everyone talking, watching, and listening, right?
Kim Kardashian doesn’t have a responsibility to us to reject diet culture for herself, however, just like the rest of us, she does have a responsibility to reject the promotion of diet culture messages for the sake of children. I don’t hold Kim (or any other celebrity) to a higher standard than I hold any other adult in their duty to protect children in this way. Her celebrity status is not an excuse for us to increase our expectations of her (though it would be helpful for influencers to be more cautious with their words).
I DO however hold media corporations to a higher standard than individuals. They too have a responsibility to protect children, and due to the immense power they hold in sharing messages that are received by children all over the world, they should be held accountable for what they allow to be aired that can cause damage to a child’s health, and in this instance, body image.
Unfortunately, we cannot control any form of media, so we must focus on what is within our control. And that is what we allow our children to be exposed to from sources both outside and inside the home. Every day, our children will be exposed to health messages from a wide variety of sources, but the question is, what messages will a child follow and trust?
Thankfully, YOU are your child’s greatest influence, and with that comes great responsibility. Part of that responsibility includes boundaries, discussion, and modelling (not the catwalk kind).
(One time I met someone who, when told me they were an ‘influencer’, I cheekily responded with ‘Oh, you’re a parent? Me too!’)
Boundaries will look different for each family, but it may include the types of shows and news they are allowed to watch, and social media accounts they are allowed to hold. It may be that they are shielded from magazines that promote a preoccupation with image and appearance, or not wearing certain clothes or makeup before a particular age. Boundaries will depend on the child’s age, gender, sensitivity to peer influence, body image, confidence and so on.
Discussion will again depend on the child, but when they are at an appropriate age to talk about entertainment news such as Kim Kardashians diet, it can be very helpful to share your thoughts, and ask for their honest thoughts in response. Some discussion points might be;
· Asking ‘So what can we take away from this situation?’
· Stating ‘We do not look to celebrities for health advice.’
· Discussing ‘There are no ‘bad’ foods. Every food is permissible and restricting any food for weight purposes is a form of disordered eating (dieting), and can lead to eating disorders, which are very dangerous.
· Educating ‘The amount of weight she lost was unhealthy and dangerous. Rapid weight loss can cause physiological stress on the body that can lead to poor cognitive function, nausea, fatigue, electrolyte imbalance, muscle deterioration, and all the physiological effects of low vitamin and mineral intake.’
· Asking ‘What role does the media have in this situation?’
Modelling
Kids will continue to be exposed to unhelpful dieting behaviour and language, but rest assured, it is the messages and narrative that your children receive at home that is what will stick and what will become your child’s inner dialogue.
Demonstrate to them your own body appreciation, no matter what your body looks like. Show respect to your own body by nourishing it, moving it, admiring it in the mirror. Show them that you can enjoy pleasurable foods without guilt or mention of ‘working it off’. Teach then what it looks like to be body confident purely by witnessing it from YOU.
By modelling body confidence and unconditional body love to your child, they will grow up firm in the knowledge that clothing is made to fit your body and not the other way around.
Alyssa
Redwood Wellbeing