Well if these past months aren't reason enough to use the phrase 'emotional rollercoaster', then I don't know what is. Folks, it's been WILD.
Since the first day of 2020 I have been pregnant in my third trimester; had a camping trip around Australia cut short due to black summer bushfires; been separated from my family for weeks; put our house up for rent; put our house up for sale; a health pandemic started; our house sold; the world went into lockdown and isolation; I gave birth to a baby girl; we moved interstate; and now here I am with a two week old baby who is blissfully ignorant to the stresses of the world that so many are currently enduring. Ah, to have nothing more than feeding and sleeping to do each day!
With our world looking so different, no doubt you've dealt with a myriad of emotions yourself over the months. Phrases like 'the new normal' , 'Iso' and 'flatten the curve' have become part of our everyday language, and face masks, social distancing signs and large X on floors are part of our surroundings now.
I don't need to go on about the changes we are facing, as you're all too aware of the impact this has had on your own life.
So what I want to ask is, rather than becoming numb to emotions or resisting them -
Are you regularly checking in with how you're feeling?
I am fairly certain that for many of us, at some point in our 'new normal' day, we are experiencing a feeling of discomfort. This may look different for everyone due to cause, intensity, duration, and coping strategy. Though what if I told you, that it is OKAY to allow that uncomfortable feeling to sit with you as long as it needs? You don't have to like it or approve of it, but simply allowing it to be there will remove its' power and allow you to process it in a positive way. When you next feel discomfort, try these steps below.
Steps for sitting with discomfort
1. Notice the uncomfortable feeling
2. Pay attention to any resistance to the feeling
3. Allow the feeling to stay, and talk to it if it helps, tell the feeling that it is welcome
4. Make peace with it, let it be
5. Breathe into it
6. Notice when your body starts to relax
7. Pay attention to the feeling passing, without you pushing it away.
During the process of acceptance of the feeling, you can speak self affirmations for coping. Below are some examples.
Self affirmations for coping with discomfort
-I have all the internal and external resources I need to cope with this feeling
-I know I'm going to be okay because I always am
-I am capable of overcoming this feeling
-I have survived this feeling before without anything bad happening to me
-I know this feeling won't last forever
-I give myself permission to just get through this feeling
-I give this feeling permission to be here
Below are some ways you can reduce the feeling of discomfort from entering your mind and body that are specific to the pandemic event causing isolation and social distancing.
Strategies to help prevent discomfort
Turn off the news.
We get it, there's a pandemic. How is watching the news benefiting you? News stations have to keep their ratings up, so of course they are obligated to do whatever it takes to instil fear into viewers. Is the media providing information of value to your personal situation, or just keeping the situation on the forefront of your minds? Make intentional choices about what you watch, and how long.
Be intentional about your social media use.
Not only is the coverage all over tv channels, but it has flooded your social media as well. Can you make some decisions of a morning about how long you will expose yourself to it that day? Can you choose a day of the week to be media free? Can you unfollow people that constantly post about the pandemic? Can you give yourself a time limit each day or ensure you are not checking social media after a certain time?
Be active
For obvious reasons, exercising each day is highly recommend, but particularly in this unique situation where you may not get other opportunities to get outside or to move your body. Without putting any pressures on yourself, and acknowledging that your fitness goals may need to be adjusted, consider your fitness options available to you in this time. What CAN you do and when? What is your motivation for being active? (This answer will be what gets you up and moving each day.)
Keep some aspect of routine or structure to your day
Everyones day will still look different to each other, whether you are working from home, out of work completely, a SAHM, a student etc. However, before this event changed our life, I imagine your day had some level of structure to it that allowed you to accomplish tasks, meet deadlines, keep on track with goals and provided some normality. So, how can you keep some normality to your current day?
Communicate
We are relational beings, and we've recently been told that we must be socially isolated. This would be incredibly difficult for us if it were not for technology allowing us to still be in contact via phone call, video, social media and text Utilise these mediums to stay connected to loved ones. Choose from your network who you want to invest time and energy in keeping regular contact with. Make sure you are checking in on someone and someone is always checking in on you. Be open and honest about how you're feeling with your selected loved ones.
Remove the pressure
Accept that your life is going to look very different during this time. Remove unrealistic expectations of work, parenting, study, or whatever it is that you do in your day that currently just can't be done as well. Be kind to yourself about what you can achieve each day and what you can't. Be flexible because there are so many unknowns and things are changing rapidly. This is a time to step back and allow for less control and less pressure.
Be mindful and present
Mindfulness is merely a state of bringing ones' complete attention to the present experience. Using your senses will help you to be in the present moment and allow for any feelings to be welcomed and accepted. The more often you can check in with yourself and be mindful, the more able you are to positively process any feelings that arise.
No matter your current circumstance in these uncertain times, there are strategies you can use to support your wellbeing, that much IS certain. If what you are experiencing emotionally is more serious than a feeling of discomfort, you may need to seek professional support. I have listed some support services below, or if you would like to talk to a health coach about your experience or situation, please get in touch with me for a FREE introductory session.
Black Dog Institute
Beyond Blue
Mental Health Online
Headspace
Kids Help Line
Lifeline
Way Ahead
Alyssa.
Redwood Wellbeing